I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
