Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
