I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize