its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
