if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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