I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
