I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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