Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
