I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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