true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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