If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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