so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Im part way to drunk.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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