Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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