The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We talked him into tasing himself.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
