yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize