i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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