sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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