you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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