She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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