I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
