Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
