I'm lost and stupid without you.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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