So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
