Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
