he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I think my moral compass just broke
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