I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
