My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
God, I missed his penis.
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