so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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