porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize