if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
