good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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