hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My pussy is not your playground.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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