he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I want to fling myself into the sun
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize