we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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