Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
