I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize