on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
where are you?
Hypothermia
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
