I'm lost and stupid without you.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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