Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
