Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
