There was a lot of him and a little penis
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
