You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
false alarm. still invincible.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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