I think i peed on brittanys purse
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Bring me that man meat
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
