His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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