who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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