This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
