You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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