Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
