as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
