I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
how drunk are you?
Several
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
