today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My legs feel like baby dolphins
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
