I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
