yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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