what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
