is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Ketchup is God's man juice
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
