I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
