who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
