you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
