he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
