just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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