he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
