I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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