What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
