I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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