last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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