i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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